Strangers Among Us

As you know, we have spent the first days of 2012 not listening to the many presidential debates or tracking our list of new year resolutions, but hours in parenting training classes for fostering/adopting.  While these classes have been a welcomed sign of where we are headed and relief for knowledge of how to handle certain situations, they have also brought me to my knees in face of fears. The perfectionist in me says, "You are going to fail."  God keeps saying, "you will, if you don't let Me do this."  The fear subsides, a bit.

At the end of 2011, we followed God's path seamlessly and easily to Arrow Family Ministries.  We met with a guy named Michael, who we both liked(as a person and instructor).  Michael is funny and cool guy and a foster/adoptive dad.  He brought so much insight to the training information.  The class group in training was awesome, too.  Some, really great folks.  Then, as I was getting ready for the next class, Michael messaged me that as of "this" morning he was no longer with Arrow.  My first instinct was to scream and kick and whine like my two-year old toddler.  My next thought was to freak out and think I was on a shinking ship and this was it, another door slamming shut in my face, but Michael/Arrow's teaching was "respond don't react." So, deep breath and you know what, People?  God answered, "Keep going.  Don't get to attached to anyone and keep your eyes on Me."  Whoa!  So, with that we attended our next several classes.  They went great.  As it turns out, we still have some contact with Michael and I think he will be a great example for us.  God is so generous! Coincidentally, there have been some bumps for others(which totally freak me out), but Harley and I just keep saying 'that's not our lane,  that's not our path.' 

Likewise, Harley and I have had thousands of pillow talk discussions regarding adoption.  In recent weeks, they have all been about our training and our vision of adoption.  However, one night in this last month after all the children were nicely tucked in bed, he stayed up watching a total guy movie.  I probably ruined it.  I sat next to him on the couch and just cried.  It felt good.  We didn't have to say anything.  I cried from the stress of the month(busy on an insane level), I cried for our children(those at home and those to come), I cried for the love the Father has shown me over and over again in my life(oh, how he must love me). Jesus is so patient with me, I am definitely a slow learner! 

Moreover, in these training classes all the glamour and charity was stripped away.  All we were left with was some babies from some terrible places who need US to be strong and capable of loving them through the hurt and healing.  Honestly, without Jesus' lead, I don't know how you even consider adoption.  It is more than charity.  It is more than pity.  It is more than wanting more kids or becoming a parent.  It IS the gospel lived out through selflessness and sacrificial offerings of love, time and talent.

In addition, it is opening your home, your life to "the least of these," in essence, to strangers.  The thought of a child being raised in our home who is not of our DNA is somewhat of a fear.  Ok, it is a fear.  I look at my biological kids and see my eyes, or Harley's sense of humor and I know where that comes from.  Even not-so-great sides: I see my hot temper and Harley's stubbornness.  What about the kids we will adopt? Whose personality will be coming out?  Then, all of a sudden in my bible study last week it all made perfect peace and sense in my heart and my head!  I read Leviticus 19:34, "The stranger who dwells among you shall be to you as one born among you, and you shall love him as yourself; for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God."  Wow! What a promise!  I get it!  I understand the comparison of loving an insider or of loving one born to our family.  I feel the comparison with my heart.  The bond that I share with my sister, my children, my parents.  I understand that I, too, was once a stranger, that I was separated from God through my sin and that in Christ I am his beloved daughter.  I'm sure it won't be all easy and at times we will be tested, maybe even beyond what we think we can endure.  But our God is so big, he knows our deepest anxieties and he answers them and calms them.  I know there will be challenges to endure.  I think God has been preparing me all along.

Dr. Russell Moore's book Adopted For Life: The Priority for Christian Families & Churches concludes like this:

   "The reality, though, is that in most ways parenting is parenting, and growing up is growing up.  It's always hard.  Some unique challenges go along with adoption-challenges related to finding a sense of belonging, to discipline and discipleship, to answering questions about origins.  Count these all as joy.  They point all of us-not just kids who were adopted-to the gospel.  The gospel welcomes us and receives us as loved children.  The gospel disciplines us and prepares us for eternity as heirs.  The gospels speaks truth to us and shows us our misery in Adam and our glory in Christ.  The gospel shows us that we were born into death and then shows us, by free grace, that we're adopted for life."