Damaged

My mom and I made a quick trip to Garden Ridge today to do a little shopping.  I needed a new front entry rug and runner.  As we were milling around the store a nice lady asked for our assistance regarding some lampshades for some lamps she wanted to purchase for her family room.  Certainly, word must have gotten out of my curtain making skills and creative project abilities. Surely, she mistakenly thought I was an expert! So, of course, I instantly jumped at the chance to help her out.  Little did she know she helped me out, in a big way!  She mentioned the lamps were broken and in need of minor repair and that THEY WERE ONLY .25 CENTS EACH!!!!! Whoa, we had hit the motherload! All these years shopping at Garden Ridge and I never heard about the damaged rows!  I found my little jewels under a pile of broken and dented pieces.  Likewise, I purchased two more items for $3.25 and $6.25. 

That story is enough for me to end my day a happy shopper, but God is never done with me that easy!! So, tonight after I cleaned them up a bit and fix some of the scratches and dents, I posted a picture of my prized finds on Facebook to share the good news.  It wasn't until others who were delighted to know how I did it, that it hit me.  I simply wrote the word, damaged.  And, there it is!  They were disregarded because they were damaged.  They were counted worthless because they were damaged.  In like fashion, I think that is probably how the world views the 160 million global orphans.  I think for many different reasons we write them off as worthless.  For myself, it was out of pure ignorance.  Moreover, it was putting on my blinders and burying myself in my issues and my world and my life! In particular, it was easy to skip over the continuous theme of God's command to care for the orphans.  Contrarily, I think others are fully aware but retreat in fear.  Specifically, many see orphans, or like in our country, those in foster care, as too damaged.  Consequently, they are left hungry, naked, helpless, hopeless and without ever knowing a mother's love. 

Thankfully, God has opened my eyes and broken my heart.  I fear doing nothing instead of fearing what too damaged means for changes in my life.  With this in mind, I will proudly display my "damaged" artwork in the entryway so it will be the first thing that greets all who enter our home.  In short, damaged is a scary word, it requires work and a little creativity, but words like poverty, hopeless and unloved are far worse!

The Cost of Following Jesus

For the last few days I have been thinking of the verse from the Gospel when Jesus says, "the Son Of Man has nowhere to lay his head."  It all began while seeing Facebook Friends list their thankfulness for the month of gratitude.  As many stated that their gratefulness for the homes and roofs over their head, the verse popped into my head.  Like always, it compelled me to dig further.  I blame it on the bible study I am currently participating.  The study encourages growing more than surface deep through picturing and pondering God's Word.  Therefore, I've turned in to a mad woman picturing and pondering, all the while God is changing me, giving me wisdom and knowledge, and adoration for his majesty! 

Hence, it beckons me to search why this scripture has stayed with me the past few days and why I must learn more.  Somehow, it all became clear today.  I have struggled for months trying to figure out this adoption vision and idea of orphan care. Why, I somehow can't escape the ideas?  I've asked myself a million times, is it for us? Are we the kind of people who do this kind of thing?  We already have children, how will they feel? How would an adopted child feel?  How can we accommodate and juggle all of this change?  Suddenly, it all makes sense!  This verse hit home for me.  The entire passage from Matthew 8:18-22 goes like this:

 ¹⁸ When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he instructed his disciples to cross to the other side of the lake.
 ¹⁹ Then one of the teachers of religious law said to him, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.”
 ²⁰ But Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man^[a] has no place even to lay his head.”
 ²¹ Another of his disciples said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.”
 ²² But Jesus told him, “Follow me now. Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead."

You, see, as we step in to following God's commands of "taking care of the orphan in their distress," I realized I am just like these religious teachers.  I was to stay at the Ritz to good works.  I want to be comfortable.  Moreover, I been able to ignore the Lord's heart for orphans because I am mom, with a young family and what about them?! Until now, I have felt justified and right in letting others go because I felt exempt due to my beautiful, little charges!  Now, don't get me wrong!  I know that God's timing is perfect and that I do have great responsibilities to my little family.  However, tonight our church's orphan care ministry is hosting a respite event for foster care families.  So, I am leaving my children(in great hands with Grandma, by the way) and loving and serving those who have not had the greatest experiences in their homes.  I am going to love on children who have never seen a mom or dad who holds your hand when you are scared at the doctor or rocks you when you're ill, who cheers for you at your baseball games or when you bring home an A.  I am going to leave my children, who are so loved and so served, to answer God's call  to "defend the cause of the orphan."  Matthew Henry's commentary puts it like this: "If Christ requires our service, affection even for the nearest and dearest relatives, and for things otherwise our duty, must give way."

In other words, just for today, I am going to step out in faith that my children are not my priority and that God is calling me to a greater purpose and spreading his hope to "the least of these." Please pray for these kids and pray for all of us that we ooze the light of Christ's love and grace to them! 

Adventure Calling

This may sound shocking to some, but I was an adult woman, mother of two, before I rode my first roller coaster! I know, crazy, right!? They are so fun and thrilling.  They go fast and make your stomach flip and make you laugh! What's not to love?  Well, for a kid like me it was the thought of bad construction, malfunction, heights, the fear of the unknown, and the idea of an uncontrolled train!  I think that the process of adoption is much like that.  To those who have gone through it, it makes your stomach flip, takes you to great highs and lows, and hopefully you laugh more than you cry.  Although, to those on our end, to what heights and what depths will we go, will things malfunction, what surprises await us?  For a control freak like myself, these are not exciting words.  However, God always seems to know exactly what my heart is saying and he speaks directly to it.  This promise from his word is no different.  It speaks to the very core of my heart and it comforts me in great and mighty ways. 

 Romans 8:15 So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves.  Instead, you received GOD'S SPIRIT when he adopted you as his own children.  Now we call him, "Abba, Father."

Wow! And Amen! This is a promise I desperately needed to hear.  The words practically jump off the page.  You can throw off your fear and timidity, because you received God's spirit! I have God's spirit!  Not some wimpy, frail, pathetic spirit.  God's spirit.  The same God who parts seas, calms the waves, and brings dead to life!  The excitement is building in me just thinking of all that awaits us!

While it may be true, anyone who has known me since I was small child knows, this is a stretch for me.  I have never been one for adventure.  I HATE surprises, detest change and new stuff, do not seek thrills and find comfort in being in control both of myself and others.  Does this make me not fun? Do I not enjoy a good time?  No, and of course, I do.  I just tend to stick to the safer course.  I like the Bunny Slopes.  (*As a side note, I should probably mention that God paired me to a spouse who loves coasters, loves the unknown and always takes the back-roads).  It is that realization that God has been showing me all along that it can be fun to not know where you are going next!  More importantly, I realize the adoption process is anything but the Bunny Slopes!  It's more like being blind-folded and trying to go down the Black Diamond courses!  Fortunately, we have a Guide.  God has met us every step so far, and I am confident that he will continue. He has established his view for orphans.  He has shown us his heart for adoption when he adopted us as his very own.   He has broken our hearts for the global orphan crisis. Faithfully, he has put people in our lives to serve with, to give us understanding, and to advise us.  Most importantly, he has shown us love and grace in ways more sufficient than words can explain!

Granted that I may still have fear, I do not have to let it dictate my life.  Likewise, I am not fearful that God won't be by our side.  He is always reminding me every step of the way to our child(ren) that he is the One who started this and he is the One who will finish it!  Nevertheless, my fear runs deep.  For example, I was the kid who checked out crime reports and stats in certain cities my family wanted to vacation in.  I was the kid who watched the news just so I could know how close bad stuff had happened to me.  I am the adult who NEVER leaves home without a game plan.  I am the adult who makes pros and cons lists for just about everything.  I like control, it makes me think I am safe.  Don't get me wrong, these are all good qualities; they make me a good, responsible leader.  However, what I am realizing more and more in this life, is there are no guarantees and if I am going to truly follow Christ, if I am going to be obedient to his calling for my/our life I am going to have to take some risks!  Over and over in the Gospel, Jesus tells his followers "If you cling to your life, you will lose, and if you let your life go, you will save it."  Hmmm, I think he's saying,  Quit trying so hard to control everything.  You are not in control of anything any way!  I can continue to be responsible but I don't have to try so hard to make things fit my expectations. 

Accordingly, the promise from Romans 8:15 let's me know I don't have try to be adventurous either.  If I just willingly follow Jesus' path for me life will be an adventure.  I like the way The Message version states it: 

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!

That is empowerment, People!  It is this truth and encouragement I must stand on.  It is all I have to drag me out of my comfort zone.  I can throw off my spirit of fear because it is false and not who God created me to be.  In short, we can do great and exciting things because He wills it to be! 

Finally, we received a package in the mail today from All God's Children International.  We are not finished exploring all of the domestic options for adopting a child but it seems that the international door is unlocked and open for us...please pray for us as we go through this season and we make changes appropriate for being obedient to God's calling!  November 6th is Orphan Sunday- a day dedicated to praying for and calling attention to "the least of these." I hope 163 million of them are on your hearts and minds just for today! :)