This may sound shocking to some, but I was an adult woman, mother of two, before I rode my first roller coaster! I know, crazy, right!? They are so fun and thrilling. They go fast and make your stomach flip and make you laugh! What's not to love? Well, for a kid like me it was the thought of bad construction, malfunction, heights, the fear of the unknown, and the idea of an uncontrolled train! I think that the process of adoption is much like that. To those who have gone through it, it makes your stomach flip, takes you to great highs and lows, and hopefully you laugh more than you cry. Although, to those on our end, to what heights and what depths will we go, will things malfunction, what surprises await us? For a control freak like myself, these are not exciting words. However, God always seems to know exactly what my heart is saying and he speaks directly to it. This promise from his word is no different. It speaks to the very core of my heart and it comforts me in great and mighty ways.
Romans 8:15 So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received GOD'S SPIRIT when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, "Abba, Father."
Wow! And Amen! This is a promise I desperately needed to hear. The words practically jump off the page. You can throw off your fear and timidity, because you received God's spirit! I have God's spirit! Not some wimpy, frail, pathetic spirit. God's spirit. The same God who parts seas, calms the waves, and brings dead to life! The excitement is building in me just thinking of all that awaits us!
While it may be true, anyone who has known me since I was small child knows, this is a stretch for me. I have never been one for adventure. I HATE surprises, detest change and new stuff, do not seek thrills and find comfort in being in control both of myself and others. Does this make me not fun? Do I not enjoy a good time? No, and of course, I do. I just tend to stick to the safer course. I like the Bunny Slopes. (*As a side note, I should probably mention that God paired me to a spouse who loves coasters, loves the unknown and always takes the back-roads). It is that realization that God has been showing me all along that it can be fun to not know where you are going next! More importantly, I realize the adoption process is anything but the Bunny Slopes! It's more like being blind-folded and trying to go down the Black Diamond courses! Fortunately, we have a Guide. God has met us every step so far, and I am confident that he will continue. He has established his view for orphans. He has shown us his heart for adoption when he adopted us as his very own. He has broken our hearts for the global orphan crisis. Faithfully, he has put people in our lives to serve with, to give us understanding, and to advise us. Most importantly, he has shown us love and grace in ways more sufficient than words can explain!
Granted that I may still have fear, I do not have to let it dictate my life. Likewise, I am not fearful that God won't be by our side. He is always reminding me every step of the way to our child(ren) that he is the One who started this and he is the One who will finish it! Nevertheless, my fear runs deep. For example, I was the kid who checked out crime reports and stats in certain cities my family wanted to vacation in. I was the kid who watched the news just so I could know how close bad stuff had happened to me. I am the adult who NEVER leaves home without a game plan. I am the adult who makes pros and cons lists for just about everything. I like control, it makes me think I am safe. Don't get me wrong, these are all good qualities; they make me a good, responsible leader. However, what I am realizing more and more in this life, is there are no guarantees and if I am going to truly follow Christ, if I am going to be obedient to his calling for my/our life I am going to have to take some risks! Over and over in the Gospel, Jesus tells his followers "If you cling to your life, you will lose, and if you let your life go, you will save it." Hmmm, I think he's saying, Quit trying so hard to control everything. You are not in control of anything any way! I can continue to be responsible but I don't have to try so hard to make things fit my expectations.
Accordingly, the promise from Romans 8:15 let's me know I don't have try to be adventurous either. If I just willingly follow Jesus' path for me life will be an adventure. I like the way The Message version states it:
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!
That is empowerment, People! It is this truth and encouragement I must stand on. It is all I have to drag me out of my comfort zone. I can throw off my spirit of fear because it is false and not who God created me to be. In short, we can do great and exciting things because He wills it to be!
Finally, we received a package in the mail today from All God's Children International. We are not finished exploring all of the domestic options for adopting a child but it seems that the international door is unlocked and open for us...please pray for us as we go through this season and we make changes appropriate for being obedient to God's calling! November 6th is Orphan Sunday- a day dedicated to praying for and calling attention to "the least of these." I hope 163 million of them are on your hearts and minds just for today! :)
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