The Loving Things

It's February, the month of love.  The stores are bursting at the seams with red and pink decorations.  The jewelry commercials are literally on in every-other-one-increments.  Normally, I boycott Valentine's Day.  I think it's crap, to be completely candid.  I think it just another way for big marketing to make people think they have to spend money.  A way for those with to show up those without.  It's disgusting.  In addition, I don't like these holidays: mother's day/father's day; Saint Patrick's Day; or Halloween.  I am pretty sure the Bible says, "honor your mother and father," not just the second Sundays of May and June.  What the heck is St. Patrick's Day anyway? And really all year, I tell my children Stranger Danger, now tonight let's go get candy from them.  Ick!  Harley loves me and hates me for this.  I know it sounds like I am a stick. in. the. mud.  I know!  It gets worse, I don't even do Easter Baskets for my kids! Uh, gasp, the horror! That's right folks, no Easter bunnies here!  But, I digress! 


As I normally try to avoid all things Cupid this month, today in my Bible Study reading God's Word, I got smacked right up side my head with a couple of very undeniable facts  God is extremely clear on his idea of what is love.  When put to that test, my grade was an epic fail!  I don't love well.  I love poorly.  Very poorly, in fact.  Even those that are easy to love, the ones I naturally love.  I was seriously brought to tears in repentance. 

Honestly, people, there is a whole world culture out there to tell us what love looks like, feels like, and it's all about what we are getting out of it!  The world's idea of love is feeling and emotion and completely selfish.  God's love is undeniably selfless and covered in humility.  It is evident in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 when Paul writes, "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."  I know if anyone has ever been to a wedding or in church for longer than 6 months they have probably heard these words before.  However, I am hear to tell you it is a whole different ballgame when you put someones face in your mind and ask yourself questions regarding these statements.  

Try it:
Picture someone(your spouse, your friend, your kids, your enemy, someone you just do not get along with)
Then ask yourself these questions:
 1. Am I patient with this person?
 2. Am I kind to this person?
 3. Am I ever jealous of this person?
 4. Am I ever boastful or proud around this person?
 5. Am I ever rude to this person?
 6. Do I ever demand my way?
 7. Am I ever irritable with this person?
 8. Do I ever hold grudges against this person?
 9. Am I glad when this person fails?
10. Am I happy when this person is successful no matter the circumstance?

Now, remember, God's law is perfect.  So, these are always and never situations!  Oh my goodness, everyone of us should fail!  Thankfully, everyday I can draw nearer to The One whose love is unfailing and is eternal and learn to love as I should!  I hope these words stick with you as they have with me during this month of hearts and Cupid.  They are life-changing and more useful than being a reading at wedding ceremony! 

P.S. I was so traumatized by my failure to love like Christ that it took me awhile to even see past my failure.  But Christ is full of mercy and grace.  He doesn't long to see us linger in our failures.  He wants repentance and to become our focus.  It is how we going from a failing love to an enduring one!  Happy Love Month! 

Super Bowl Sunday

As many get ready to gather for some fun watching the pigskin, I cannot help but think of the many women and children who have been exploited this weekend.  That's right, Super Bowl Sunday is one of the worst times for human trafficking victims.  I am sick.  I don't know what happened to me.  For years, I've watched this game and enjoyed it and not worried someone was being hurt due to the hoopla surrounding it.  I also thought prostitutes, by definition, could only be adult women who, by whatever the circumstance, chose their professions.  Now, my eyes and ears don't seem to be my own anymore.  And you know what dear reader?  I am glad for it.  As much as one would think it would be nice to turn a blind eye or a deaf ear, I think I am better off.  Ignorance is not bliss; ignorance is death. 

For awhile now, Micah 6:8 has been stuck in my head: "No, O people, the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."  I never realized when God opened my heart to the global orphan crisis that He would be opening my mind to the injustices of slavery.  Growing up in modern times and white, slavery has never been more than something evil in a history book and a shameful existence in my ancestors' pasts. It did  not really effect me.  Before, it was simple, it is wrong and in the past.  However, present-day me, realizes that there are more enslaved TODAY than any other time in history and it's growing!  Moreover, I contribute to it in so many ways. For instance, much of American lifestyle comes at the expense of an impoverished person or people somewhere in an underdeveloped area of the world.  How, you ask?  They make our clothes, toys, food, uh, my Apple iPhone, iPad, and iPod.  Ugh, seriously, those hurt!  But, I am telling y'all, it is even over coffee.  I know what you are thinking: Don't-even-start-messing-with-my-awesome-Nantucket-Blend!  No, really, People, many suffer for us to enjoy our favorite coffee brands! 

I know it seems impossible to stop.  This is the 2nd largest crime industry behind drugs, after all.  It is a 9.5 billion dollar a year money-maker.  However, our God is BIG and He does BIG things!  Luke 1:37 says, "For nothing is impossible with God."  We have a great opportunity here to bring change.  We need to educate ourselves on the subject and to become aware of the products we use.  I am not trying to be a hypocrite here...I literally could send this message out from my iPhone or iPad!  Ouch!  I am saying we have to put behind us the days of being cattle-herded consumers and PAY ATTENTION!   

With this in mind, I came across this great article http://theresurgence.com/2012/02/02/sex-trafficking-at-the-super-bowl  Please, take the time to read it.  It has some great information.  It offers some great educational tips.  Also, you can visit these websites if you are in need of commodities:

www.cometogethertrading.com
www.redearthtradingco.com
www.furnacehillscoffee.com/index
www.preemptivelove.org
www.noondaycollection.com
www.bethejoy.com
www.goodnewsgoods.com
www.theopenarmsshop.com
www.commonthreadz.org
www.globalgirlfriend.com
www.3seams.com
www.ravenandlily.com
www.tradeasone.com
www.thehungersite.org
www.funkyfishdesigns.com

Together we can make a difference!  I don't really care who wins the Superbowl tonight, but I do pray, in The Hope, that the most vulnerable and most marginalized of the world are protected and safe tonight! 

Strangers Among Us

As you know, we have spent the first days of 2012 not listening to the many presidential debates or tracking our list of new year resolutions, but hours in parenting training classes for fostering/adopting.  While these classes have been a welcomed sign of where we are headed and relief for knowledge of how to handle certain situations, they have also brought me to my knees in face of fears. The perfectionist in me says, "You are going to fail."  God keeps saying, "you will, if you don't let Me do this."  The fear subsides, a bit.

At the end of 2011, we followed God's path seamlessly and easily to Arrow Family Ministries.  We met with a guy named Michael, who we both liked(as a person and instructor).  Michael is funny and cool guy and a foster/adoptive dad.  He brought so much insight to the training information.  The class group in training was awesome, too.  Some, really great folks.  Then, as I was getting ready for the next class, Michael messaged me that as of "this" morning he was no longer with Arrow.  My first instinct was to scream and kick and whine like my two-year old toddler.  My next thought was to freak out and think I was on a shinking ship and this was it, another door slamming shut in my face, but Michael/Arrow's teaching was "respond don't react." So, deep breath and you know what, People?  God answered, "Keep going.  Don't get to attached to anyone and keep your eyes on Me."  Whoa!  So, with that we attended our next several classes.  They went great.  As it turns out, we still have some contact with Michael and I think he will be a great example for us.  God is so generous! Coincidentally, there have been some bumps for others(which totally freak me out), but Harley and I just keep saying 'that's not our lane,  that's not our path.' 

Likewise, Harley and I have had thousands of pillow talk discussions regarding adoption.  In recent weeks, they have all been about our training and our vision of adoption.  However, one night in this last month after all the children were nicely tucked in bed, he stayed up watching a total guy movie.  I probably ruined it.  I sat next to him on the couch and just cried.  It felt good.  We didn't have to say anything.  I cried from the stress of the month(busy on an insane level), I cried for our children(those at home and those to come), I cried for the love the Father has shown me over and over again in my life(oh, how he must love me). Jesus is so patient with me, I am definitely a slow learner! 

Moreover, in these training classes all the glamour and charity was stripped away.  All we were left with was some babies from some terrible places who need US to be strong and capable of loving them through the hurt and healing.  Honestly, without Jesus' lead, I don't know how you even consider adoption.  It is more than charity.  It is more than pity.  It is more than wanting more kids or becoming a parent.  It IS the gospel lived out through selflessness and sacrificial offerings of love, time and talent.

In addition, it is opening your home, your life to "the least of these," in essence, to strangers.  The thought of a child being raised in our home who is not of our DNA is somewhat of a fear.  Ok, it is a fear.  I look at my biological kids and see my eyes, or Harley's sense of humor and I know where that comes from.  Even not-so-great sides: I see my hot temper and Harley's stubbornness.  What about the kids we will adopt? Whose personality will be coming out?  Then, all of a sudden in my bible study last week it all made perfect peace and sense in my heart and my head!  I read Leviticus 19:34, "The stranger who dwells among you shall be to you as one born among you, and you shall love him as yourself; for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God."  Wow! What a promise!  I get it!  I understand the comparison of loving an insider or of loving one born to our family.  I feel the comparison with my heart.  The bond that I share with my sister, my children, my parents.  I understand that I, too, was once a stranger, that I was separated from God through my sin and that in Christ I am his beloved daughter.  I'm sure it won't be all easy and at times we will be tested, maybe even beyond what we think we can endure.  But our God is so big, he knows our deepest anxieties and he answers them and calms them.  I know there will be challenges to endure.  I think God has been preparing me all along.

Dr. Russell Moore's book Adopted For Life: The Priority for Christian Families & Churches concludes like this:

   "The reality, though, is that in most ways parenting is parenting, and growing up is growing up.  It's always hard.  Some unique challenges go along with adoption-challenges related to finding a sense of belonging, to discipline and discipleship, to answering questions about origins.  Count these all as joy.  They point all of us-not just kids who were adopted-to the gospel.  The gospel welcomes us and receives us as loved children.  The gospel disciplines us and prepares us for eternity as heirs.  The gospels speaks truth to us and shows us our misery in Adam and our glory in Christ.  The gospel shows us that we were born into death and then shows us, by free grace, that we're adopted for life."