Yesterday I was at a meeting planning a women's event at our church. Our Women's Minister asked a simple question to the group, "what is something God is doing in your life?" The honest answer is I don't even know where to begin. In this season, I feel God might as well be sitting on me! The air is thick with Jesus. Everywhere I turn I see signs or messages he is revealing to me. This is not at all reflective of my spiritual maturity. There have been plenty of seasons (and more to come, I'm sure) when I wondered where was God! I'm just saying right now has us feeling very connected to Him and his will. We are depending on Him in every step we take. Nonetheless, for time sake and not being too obnoxious, I was able to tell of a very intimate and profound moment that has happened recently.
As many of you know, our family provided respite recently for a baby in foster care. I have to tell you that experience was so devine and so wonderful it was actually hard to believe and I actually kept waiting for something to go wrong! We even ended up with a extended stay due to unforseen circumstances. But sadly, the day came when she had to go. The morning after that sweet baby left our home I sat down in my comfy chair, with a hot cup of coffee, reflecting the time we spent that beautiful child. Although, there had been some tears beforehand, I have handled her leaving actually quite well. Again, this is only a testament to what my Jesus is doing in me. He gives wisdom and he gives "peace that surpasses understanding." It is not an observation of my ability. Anyway, it was in that moment, like many during that time with her, that I was overcome with a sense of prayer. However, in my prayer I began with putting my order in for another just like her: easy-going, sweet, happy, beautiful. It went something like this: "God, you are awesome, and she was great, I want a daughter just like that"...when I felt this powerful nudge that this was not the time for my will to impose on the miraculous event that had literally ushered me into the throne room of God. I know without a shadow of a doubt I had entered his gates and this moment was for thanksgiving ONLY! God knows me very well. He no doubt realizes my want list, and more importantly, commands my need list. Honestly, it was the first time in my life I think I really understood Psalm 100:4, "Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name." I am so grateful for this moment and a chance to worship Him with truly thankfulness in my heart!
In conclusion, we are literally weeks away from completing the adoption process. Some fears have been overcome, while others may remain forever. No matter what, God has not shown us we should not stop, so we press on.
