Have you ever felt like you were or have actually been on holy ground or in a sacred place? I know from growing up in church that I was told a million times, "This is God's house." But I mean really understood what that meant, like Moses' experience in Exodus 3:5, “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” I think I finally got a glimpse.
On October 8th, we finally were able to have our homestudy done. Life leading up to it and since has been the most chaotic I've ever seen it. However, for 5 and half short hours, there was peace. This is nothing short of miraculous especially if you've been around my husband's cell phone on a Monday morning, no less. We were asked every-single-question-you-can-imagine. No, really. Let's pause here for a minute. Think of a question(no, question is too icky or intimate, I'll wait while you think of something) Yep, we were asked that too. Then, we took a tour of the house, every nook and cranny, even the closets(including the teenager's, gas masks and all). For 5 and half hours, we worked so great as a family unit. During the joint portion of the homestudy with Harley and I, we finished each others sentences, laughed, and remained quite while the other voiced their ideas. Complete and utter harmony and respect. It was family utopia, here, People! Our children where somewhat left to their own watching as we completed this section. They played, laughed, and pretty well contained themselves for a couple of hours. We broke for lunch and everyone agreed on sandwiches and chips for a quick bite. No one complained that they wanted that piece of bread or that last juice box. And when it was over, we started with the questions again.
And then, it was over. In the weeks that have followed this glorious event of family harmony it feels like the wheels have come off the tracks. I have found myself on more than one occasion humming Ozzy's Crazy Train. Here's a glimpse at a certain situation: We had a family meltdown so severe last Sunday we could not even make it to church to serve our teenage small groups. It was the perfect storm, really. My phone was broken and couldn't dial out or text. Harley and I weren't seeing eye-to-eye(to put it lightly) on a situation, a certain child-that-shall-remain-nameless had tested beyond what is sensical and on top of all of that my sister's dog was lost! That's right, we couldn't even muster up the fake smiles, we all need to get through church some Sundays--I know y'all have done this too, we're going for total transparency, here) so we just didn't show up. NOT COOL! Whoa! We are all in need of a time out! My otherwise, calm, harmonious family is stressed to the max! Consequently, in my journey to put down the perfection scepter(forgive me, its Avenger central around here), I start to panic wondering if my answers were lies or if we weren't really ourselves and then the Holy Spirit prompts me with God's Word like Genesis 28:15, " I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” This reminds me that he sees our hearts and our affliction and pain for the fatherless. It also reminds me that this is his work for his glory and his work is holy. So, those 5 hours weren't fake or false. They were a gift of God's peace and they were his holy work, set apart for his will to be accomplished in us.
Finally, we appreciate every prayer offered up for us during this wait. It is obvious our family needs protection, because every single thing that could be attacked to stop us, has been attacked. Everything from health(remember my pneumonia right before our required respite and one our boys needing a daily medication), financial scares and battles, family disharmony, to behavior problems and childhood troubles. All of this to get through the homestudy and wait some more. We will let you know when we get through to the next phase.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Proud to Be...
Folks, it is no secret if you follow me much on Twitter or see me on Facebook much, that my political views are conservative. I was called a nerd by my darling husband during the Republican National Convention! Well, I was giving air punches out during Senator Marco Rubio's speech. 1-2-PUNCH! For real! This week its the democrats turn to air punch have a chai latte and blog on their Mac from the campus coffeehouse. And as I try to listen and keep an open-mind, my mind is just flooded with scripture. I have a twisted and complex mind! My brain pendulum swings from chasing after my earthly freedom to reliquishing it all for an eternal one.
I sit and listen to the news media, staunch Dems, and celebs refer to President Obama as a Savior or even more sacreligious, a "Black Jesus." (Thank you, Spike Lee for clearing up any lingering doubt on your theology.) Part of me realizes four years isn't enough time to undue the damage of the last 40 years or more, but I have faith enough to know the Barack Obama couldn't do in a lifetime what Jesus was able to do in 3 days!
I sit and listen toconservative news outlets Fox News, hard-core conservatives and Republicans, and Clint Eastwood and worry we are headed for doom. That the America my children become adults will not be the "land of the free," but the land of what-can-I-get-for-free? It is in this sphere where Obama is referred to as The Antichrist and a Muslim extremist, etc. All of these messages bring on fear. Some of them have valid points, while others are completely obsurd. I was really unnerved about the state of country and where we are headed to next and that is when Romans 13:1 popped into my head: (AMP) "Let every person be loyally subject to the governing (civil) authorities. For there is no authority except from God [by His permission, His sanction], and those that exist do so by God’s appointment." Umm, did y'all get that? Friends, we are supposed to follow the law. But check out that second half: there is no authority except from God, with his approval stamp and seal and His Divine Appointment! And when fear rises or proganda floods my email inbox I realize my security is not of this world, in my shelter or my bank account. I claim promises found in Isaiah 54:17 But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification], says the Lord.
Moreover, what I realize from the times we live and the smallness the world has become is that we cannot simple have agree-to-disagree conversations anymore. Everyone's thumb is on The Button, ready to blow up anything in their path of disagreement. My nature, too, is to fight. I was taught in a sermon this weekend while visiting my hometown that when Pilate questioned Jesus about being a king the way Jesus answered him. In John 18:36, this is what Jesus said, "My kingdom," said Jesus, "doesn't consist of what you see around you. If it did, my followers would fight so that I wouldn't be handed over to the Jews. But I'm not that kind of king, not the world's kind of king." Whoa! Good readers, our fate as believers in a victorious God is not in the hands of whomever is president of the United States of America. I know, it is easy to get caught up in all of it. Things are changing, some for the better, others not, but we are shown in God's word it cannot last. IT WILL pass away. The only thing that stands forever is God's Word. Reference Isaiah 40:8. We are Americans, it is our right to vote, so do it, but do it with civility, and please, if you call yourself a Christ follower with compassion for others' opinions. (Yes, I am talking to myself) Most of all, join with me in prayer over our great nation, for whomever is in office and join me in being a voice for the underserved and unloved everywhere.
I sit and listen to the news media, staunch Dems, and celebs refer to President Obama as a Savior or even more sacreligious, a "Black Jesus." (Thank you, Spike Lee for clearing up any lingering doubt on your theology.) Part of me realizes four years isn't enough time to undue the damage of the last 40 years or more, but I have faith enough to know the Barack Obama couldn't do in a lifetime what Jesus was able to do in 3 days!
I sit and listen to
Moreover, what I realize from the times we live and the smallness the world has become is that we cannot simple have agree-to-disagree conversations anymore. Everyone's thumb is on The Button, ready to blow up anything in their path of disagreement. My nature, too, is to fight. I was taught in a sermon this weekend while visiting my hometown that when Pilate questioned Jesus about being a king the way Jesus answered him. In John 18:36, this is what Jesus said, "My kingdom," said Jesus, "doesn't consist of what you see around you. If it did, my followers would fight so that I wouldn't be handed over to the Jews. But I'm not that kind of king, not the world's kind of king." Whoa! Good readers, our fate as believers in a victorious God is not in the hands of whomever is president of the United States of America. I know, it is easy to get caught up in all of it. Things are changing, some for the better, others not, but we are shown in God's word it cannot last. IT WILL pass away. The only thing that stands forever is God's Word. Reference Isaiah 40:8. We are Americans, it is our right to vote, so do it, but do it with civility, and please, if you call yourself a Christ follower with compassion for others' opinions. (Yes, I am talking to myself) Most of all, join with me in prayer over our great nation, for whomever is in office and join me in being a voice for the underserved and unloved everywhere.
Monday, August 27, 2012
To Run or Not to Run, That is the Question
Over the last two weeks, my friend and I prayed about running a half marathon to raise awareness of and money for the injustices of the world and specifically human sex trafficking. It was an exciting experiment for sure. We committed to pray until August 24th because that is exactly six months until the race, and I love a hard deadline! God doesn't really work that way, but I think He's given us some mercy here to set a time frame for ourselves. He knows us! (See Psalm 139 for reference) This is what the last two weeks of prayer looked like:
Day 1- August 9- verse of the day: 1 Peter 2:24 (MSG) He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.
Day 2- August 10- verse of the day: Isaiah 40:30-31 (MSG) For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles. They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.
Found out through Traffick911 that a major motion picture starring Matthew McConaughey and Gina Gershon will portray McConaughey as a corrupt Texas sheriff and a family(Gina Gershon as the step-mother) trades a young "virginal" girl for sex to him as a "financial retainer"
Day 3- August 11- verse of the day: Mark 12:30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.
Day 4- August 12- don't have a verse of the day. spent the day caring for my sick child and enjoying every moment spent with my family. They are precious to me and I am so blessed to live loved, happy and safe. My children are so blessed to live loved, happy and safe. I want all children to know a mother's love and to be safely tucked in at night. I spend so much time worrying about the evilness in the world and how I can help put a end to it. I spend a lot of time worrying if I will ever become a mother to an adoptive child and if I am cut out for that kind of responsibility, but today, I just felt love and loved.
Day 5- August 13- verse of the day: 1 John 3:18 Contemporary English Version (CEV) Children, you show love for others by truly helping them, and not merely by talking about it.
Pretty sure, God is saying, "Run the race, and be sure to RUN YOUR RACE!"
Going to sign up for the Disney Princess Half Marathon! Not just running a race, but raising money and awareness to fight human trafficking!
Day 6-August 14- verse of the day: Psalm 48:14 (NLT) For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and he will guide us until we die.
Did it! Signed up! So excited to run a half marathon, but even more excited to help victims of domestic minor sex trafficking be rescued!
Day 7-August 15-verse of the day: Psalm 62:8 (NLT) O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.
In questioning why violence happens against these sweet, innocent babies, I know that the God over all hears my prayers and hears my hearts desire to help those who are helping those victims. It is desire to love the orphan and care for the poor and only in Him can I find the strength it takes to do it!
Day 8- August 16-verse of the day: Philippians 4:8 (NLT) And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Day 9-August 17-verse of the day: Isaiah 43:1 (NLT) But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.
Day 10-August 18-verse of the day: Psalm 91:1 (NLT) Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
Day 11-August 19-verse of the day: Psalm 37:7 (NLT) Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.
Day 12-August 20-verse of the day: 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NLT) 7 even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
This verse is so strong for me! Today there has been plenty of fear. Fear about trying to run 13.1 miles, fear about leaving my kids for that weekend, fear about getting involved with such a scary subject and fear of doing nothing at all! But God's grace is enough and it is all I need. Running was tough this week, but in my weakness I am crying out to Him to help me push through for his glory and his mission!
Day 13-August 21-verse of the day: 1 Kings 8:23 (NLT) and prayed: Lord God of Israel, no other god in heaven or on earth is like you! You never forget the agreement you made with your people, and you are loyal to anyone who faithfully obeys your teachings.
Day 14-August 22- verse of the day: Romans 8:1-2 (NLT) So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power[a] of the life-giving Spirit has freed you[b] from the power of sin that leads to death.
Day 15-August 23- verse of the day: Ephesians 3:20 (NLT) Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Day 16-August 24-verse of the day: Psalm 139:1-6 (NLT) O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. 3 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. 4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. 5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
Harley and I decided to start a non-profit to help those organization on the front lines rescuing and restoring victims of sex trafficking. It is being set up now! Over the next six months, our team hopes to raise enough money to help build a safe house that is so desperately needed! We are going to be using our skills and interest to bring hope to those fighting domestic minor sex trafficking and victims effected by it. Be on the lookout for more information!!
Day 1- August 9- verse of the day: 1 Peter 2:24 (MSG) He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.
Day 2- August 10- verse of the day: Isaiah 40:30-31 (MSG) For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles. They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.
Found out through Traffick911 that a major motion picture starring Matthew McConaughey and Gina Gershon will portray McConaughey as a corrupt Texas sheriff and a family(Gina Gershon as the step-mother) trades a young "virginal" girl for sex to him as a "financial retainer"
Day 3- August 11- verse of the day: Mark 12:30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.
Day 4- August 12- don't have a verse of the day. spent the day caring for my sick child and enjoying every moment spent with my family. They are precious to me and I am so blessed to live loved, happy and safe. My children are so blessed to live loved, happy and safe. I want all children to know a mother's love and to be safely tucked in at night. I spend so much time worrying about the evilness in the world and how I can help put a end to it. I spend a lot of time worrying if I will ever become a mother to an adoptive child and if I am cut out for that kind of responsibility, but today, I just felt love and loved.
Day 5- August 13- verse of the day: 1 John 3:18 Contemporary English Version (CEV) Children, you show love for others by truly helping them, and not merely by talking about it.
Pretty sure, God is saying, "Run the race, and be sure to RUN YOUR RACE!"
Going to sign up for the Disney Princess Half Marathon! Not just running a race, but raising money and awareness to fight human trafficking!
Day 6-August 14- verse of the day: Psalm 48:14 (NLT) For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and he will guide us until we die.
Did it! Signed up! So excited to run a half marathon, but even more excited to help victims of domestic minor sex trafficking be rescued!
Day 7-August 15-verse of the day: Psalm 62:8 (NLT) O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.
In questioning why violence happens against these sweet, innocent babies, I know that the God over all hears my prayers and hears my hearts desire to help those who are helping those victims. It is desire to love the orphan and care for the poor and only in Him can I find the strength it takes to do it!
Day 8- August 16-verse of the day: Philippians 4:8 (NLT) And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Day 9-August 17-verse of the day: Isaiah 43:1 (NLT) But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.
Day 10-August 18-verse of the day: Psalm 91:1 (NLT) Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
Day 11-August 19-verse of the day: Psalm 37:7 (NLT) Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.
Day 12-August 20-verse of the day: 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NLT) 7 even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
This verse is so strong for me! Today there has been plenty of fear. Fear about trying to run 13.1 miles, fear about leaving my kids for that weekend, fear about getting involved with such a scary subject and fear of doing nothing at all! But God's grace is enough and it is all I need. Running was tough this week, but in my weakness I am crying out to Him to help me push through for his glory and his mission!
Day 13-August 21-verse of the day: 1 Kings 8:23 (NLT) and prayed: Lord God of Israel, no other god in heaven or on earth is like you! You never forget the agreement you made with your people, and you are loyal to anyone who faithfully obeys your teachings.
Day 14-August 22- verse of the day: Romans 8:1-2 (NLT) So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power[a] of the life-giving Spirit has freed you[b] from the power of sin that leads to death.
Day 15-August 23- verse of the day: Ephesians 3:20 (NLT) Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Day 16-August 24-verse of the day: Psalm 139:1-6 (NLT) O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. 3 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. 4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. 5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
Harley and I decided to start a non-profit to help those organization on the front lines rescuing and restoring victims of sex trafficking. It is being set up now! Over the next six months, our team hopes to raise enough money to help build a safe house that is so desperately needed! We are going to be using our skills and interest to bring hope to those fighting domestic minor sex trafficking and victims effected by it. Be on the lookout for more information!!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Understanding the Slow, Steady Work of the Rain
At church we've been talking to the kids about an EPIC adventure in relation to trusting Jesus. Well, let me tell you, dear friends, it has been an EPIC summer for The Jeanises. I have relished every heartfelt moment. It is almost like my mind is taking photographs and storing them in the memory bank to hold on to forever every second of every day in these 3 months. Most of the time I sit in the midst of it thinking: 'this is the last time my summer could look like this.' That maybe next summer could look a whole lot different!
Likewise, I felt that I have been watching the whole thing unfold (think, out of body mode), like everything is in slow motion. It seems like God has been molding us and stretching us for his plans continually. It has been in the moments where we least expect it, too. Before we left on vacation in July, our agency was ramped up for us to finish our paperwork and inspections, because they were ready to go. So, before we left we completed everything. And let me tell you, folks, it wasn't just me either, Harley was working hard right along side me to finish our list! Then, the line went silent. Nothing, nada, zippo! No phone calls, no emails, NOTHING! We've since become pesky enough that we've been emailed. We desperately want to have our home study scheduled, but have heard nothing as of today except it's will happen eventually. I could blame this on a lot of things- state budget cuts, making our agency short staffed; people who don't work as quickly or efficiently as we do(or would like them to); or maybe our schedule not permitting us to get things done sooner. All which could spiralus me in to anxiety. However, I believe that God is ever so gently and patiently waiting for us me to realize He is in ALL of the plan, not just the stuff I can't handle. He is orchestrating this story. Our job is to trust and follow in faith.
Truly, he won't quit, either. He hasn't let up for one second trying to get me to see he is teaching me. The more anxious I become, the more he pours into me with messages like Proverbs 3:5-6
Likewise, I felt that I have been watching the whole thing unfold (think, out of body mode), like everything is in slow motion. It seems like God has been molding us and stretching us for his plans continually. It has been in the moments where we least expect it, too. Before we left on vacation in July, our agency was ramped up for us to finish our paperwork and inspections, because they were ready to go. So, before we left we completed everything. And let me tell you, folks, it wasn't just me either, Harley was working hard right along side me to finish our list! Then, the line went silent. Nothing, nada, zippo! No phone calls, no emails, NOTHING! We've since become pesky enough that we've been emailed. We desperately want to have our home study scheduled, but have heard nothing as of today except it's will happen eventually. I could blame this on a lot of things- state budget cuts, making our agency short staffed; people who don't work as quickly or efficiently as we do(or would like them to); or maybe our schedule not permitting us to get things done sooner. All which could spiral
Truly, he won't quit, either. He hasn't let up for one second trying to get me to see he is teaching me. The more anxious I become, the more he pours into me with messages like Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Every time, I am directed to His Word(through coporate worship or quiet time) I am led straight to scripture reminding me to trust Him and quit trying to make my own sense of things. I am constantly encouraged to "fix my eyes on Jesus," look at his life, his examples of trust and obedience.
In fact, I was so anxious the other day I was trying to find a scripture in my iPhone App, You Version, and I came across the verse of the day, which I am sure only applied to me that day, that I think no matter what you are going through, that no matter what your field looks like, where ever you are serving or being led, this can and does apply to us all: James 5:7-8(The Message)
7-8Meanwhile, friends, wait patiently for the Master's Arrival. You see farmers do this all the time, waiting for their valuable crops to mature, patiently letting the rain do its slow but sure work. Be patient like that. Stay steady and strong. The Master could arrive at any time.
The troublesome spot for me is slow. I tend to think slow process, slow moving, but God is saying, "No, un-uh, slow, not as a pace, but slow in the moments where you, Sweet Daughter, want to rush through and get to the goal, but I have things to teach you and show before you get there. Quit trying to forge ahead as you always do and wait on Me."
Some other ways He is "letting the rain do its slow but sure work": 1.)sitting on the sidewalk during 1st two days in a row for 20 minutes while our youngest threw a tantrum about going to the beach. ( this might be a common occurrence for a child that has faced trauma and does not have words to express themselves any other way, IT WAS NOT SOMETHING WE EXPECT FROM OUR LOVED, SAFE, WELL-ADJUSTED CHILD). Through our training, we are changing the way we parent and so we hunkered down and worked it out. Later, when things were calm again, we asked him why he was scared of the beach. His answer was simple, "Shocks!" (Sharks, for those who need translation!) His tantrum was induced by fear! This was a huge learning moment as we are anticipating things like this with an child who has been hurt. We probably looked crazy to those passing by, but it was a chance to grow for us. 2.) While visiting with my sister this summer, we dreamed of going to Disney at Christmas. We got on the Internet to price it out and once we figured out it was crazy expensive, I handed the laptop over to my beautiful, 10 year old, niece. In the next moment, she was in tears. She had googled the average weight of a ten year old girl. And while she is a bit heavier than an average ten year old girl(she's probably much taller, too). she is no where close to obese. Sadly, when she realized she didn't make the mark, she felt horrible about herself. And even more upsetting, she judge herself based on the standards of our culture. Through encouraging her to be healthy above skinny and telling her how beautiful she truly is(outwardly and inwardly), and looking at this girl with the most gorgeous blue eyes, thick brown hair and a heart of compassion that surpasses her years, I realized that helping my daughter see how beautiful she is because of who and who's she is, not what she looks like, is going to be a huge mountain in this American culture that is obsessed with skinny and outward beauty. 3.) Thankful for family. Hard times, good times, and all the stuff in between. All of it has made us who we are today and for that I would trade any of the experiences we have had. 4.) My running. I am training for another 5K race. It's not like I am trying win against anyone. I am trying to win against who I was in the last one. I am thankful for these moments that are about me and for me and that I am going the distance and in those moments praising God who has blessed me so richly and for being able to take time out of my crazy day to push my body to be healthier and more overall ready for the tasks at hand. It reminds every time I step onto that pavement or the treadmill that I am running a race far above any 5K or marathon and that it takes endurance and it takes time to be ready for the Big Day!
So, in conclusion of this EPIC summer, I want to say we a training and we are preparing for the big day and we are clinging to God's Word with hope from scriptures like Philippians 4:6-8 6 Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. 7 Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.
8 Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.
We know He is making us ready and giving us hope. Join us as we pray!
The troublesome spot for me is slow. I tend to think slow process, slow moving, but God is saying, "No, un-uh, slow, not as a pace, but slow in the moments where you, Sweet Daughter, want to rush through and get to the goal, but I have things to teach you and show before you get there. Quit trying to forge ahead as you always do and wait on Me."
Some other ways He is "letting the rain do its slow but sure work": 1.)sitting on the sidewalk during 1st two days in a row for 20 minutes while our youngest threw a tantrum about going to the beach. ( this might be a common occurrence for a child that has faced trauma and does not have words to express themselves any other way, IT WAS NOT SOMETHING WE EXPECT FROM OUR LOVED, SAFE, WELL-ADJUSTED CHILD). Through our training, we are changing the way we parent and so we hunkered down and worked it out. Later, when things were calm again, we asked him why he was scared of the beach. His answer was simple, "Shocks!" (Sharks, for those who need translation!) His tantrum was induced by fear! This was a huge learning moment as we are anticipating things like this with an child who has been hurt. We probably looked crazy to those passing by, but it was a chance to grow for us. 2.) While visiting with my sister this summer, we dreamed of going to Disney at Christmas. We got on the Internet to price it out and once we figured out it was crazy expensive, I handed the laptop over to my beautiful, 10 year old, niece. In the next moment, she was in tears. She had googled the average weight of a ten year old girl. And while she is a bit heavier than an average ten year old girl(she's probably much taller, too). she is no where close to obese. Sadly, when she realized she didn't make the mark, she felt horrible about herself. And even more upsetting, she judge herself based on the standards of our culture. Through encouraging her to be healthy above skinny and telling her how beautiful she truly is(outwardly and inwardly), and looking at this girl with the most gorgeous blue eyes, thick brown hair and a heart of compassion that surpasses her years, I realized that helping my daughter see how beautiful she is because of who and who's she is, not what she looks like, is going to be a huge mountain in this American culture that is obsessed with skinny and outward beauty. 3.) Thankful for family. Hard times, good times, and all the stuff in between. All of it has made us who we are today and for that I would trade any of the experiences we have had. 4.) My running. I am training for another 5K race. It's not like I am trying win against anyone. I am trying to win against who I was in the last one. I am thankful for these moments that are about me and for me and that I am going the distance and in those moments praising God who has blessed me so richly and for being able to take time out of my crazy day to push my body to be healthier and more overall ready for the tasks at hand. It reminds every time I step onto that pavement or the treadmill that I am running a race far above any 5K or marathon and that it takes endurance and it takes time to be ready for the Big Day!
So, in conclusion of this EPIC summer, I want to say we a training and we are preparing for the big day and we are clinging to God's Word with hope from scriptures like Philippians 4:6-8 6 Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. 7 Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.
8 Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.
We know He is making us ready and giving us hope. Join us as we pray!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Lazy, Crazy, Hazy Days of Summer
Summer has been so fun. Working on 3 new posts from all of the amazing things God is showing me this summer! Here are just a few of the fun times we have had:
Father's Day
Summer mani/pedi with Sister and Niece
Destin, with The Jeanise Family
Father's Day
Summer mani/pedi with Sister and Niece
A brand new Vitamix for my 33rd birthday!
Destin, with The Jeanise Family
My sweet little guy turns 3!
It's been jammed pack excitement, Folks! More to come, stay tuned...
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Thanksgiving came early this year
Yesterday I was at a meeting planning a women's event at our church. Our Women's Minister asked a simple question to the group, "what is something God is doing in your life?" The honest answer is I don't even know where to begin. In this season, I feel God might as well be sitting on me! The air is thick with Jesus. Everywhere I turn I see signs or messages he is revealing to me. This is not at all reflective of my spiritual maturity. There have been plenty of seasons (and more to come, I'm sure) when I wondered where was God! I'm just saying right now has us feeling very connected to Him and his will. We are depending on Him in every step we take. Nonetheless, for time sake and not being too obnoxious, I was able to tell of a very intimate and profound moment that has happened recently.
As many of you know, our family provided respite recently for a baby in foster care. I have to tell you that experience was so devine and so wonderful it was actually hard to believe and I actually kept waiting for something to go wrong! We even ended up with a extended stay due to unforseen circumstances. But sadly, the day came when she had to go. The morning after that sweet baby left our home I sat down in my comfy chair, with a hot cup of coffee, reflecting the time we spent that beautiful child. Although, there had been some tears beforehand, I have handled her leaving actually quite well. Again, this is only a testament to what my Jesus is doing in me. He gives wisdom and he gives "peace that surpasses understanding." It is not an observation of my ability. Anyway, it was in that moment, like many during that time with her, that I was overcome with a sense of prayer. However, in my prayer I began with putting my order in for another just like her: easy-going, sweet, happy, beautiful. It went something like this: "God, you are awesome, and she was great, I want a daughter just like that"...when I felt this powerful nudge that this was not the time for my will to impose on the miraculous event that had literally ushered me into the throne room of God. I know without a shadow of a doubt I had entered his gates and this moment was for thanksgiving ONLY! God knows me very well. He no doubt realizes my want list, and more importantly, commands my need list. Honestly, it was the first time in my life I think I really understood Psalm 100:4, "Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name." I am so grateful for this moment and a chance to worship Him with truly thankfulness in my heart!
In conclusion, we are literally weeks away from completing the adoption process. Some fears have been overcome, while others may remain forever. No matter what, God has not shown us we should not stop, so we press on.
As many of you know, our family provided respite recently for a baby in foster care. I have to tell you that experience was so devine and so wonderful it was actually hard to believe and I actually kept waiting for something to go wrong! We even ended up with a extended stay due to unforseen circumstances. But sadly, the day came when she had to go. The morning after that sweet baby left our home I sat down in my comfy chair, with a hot cup of coffee, reflecting the time we spent that beautiful child. Although, there had been some tears beforehand, I have handled her leaving actually quite well. Again, this is only a testament to what my Jesus is doing in me. He gives wisdom and he gives "peace that surpasses understanding." It is not an observation of my ability. Anyway, it was in that moment, like many during that time with her, that I was overcome with a sense of prayer. However, in my prayer I began with putting my order in for another just like her: easy-going, sweet, happy, beautiful. It went something like this: "God, you are awesome, and she was great, I want a daughter just like that"...when I felt this powerful nudge that this was not the time for my will to impose on the miraculous event that had literally ushered me into the throne room of God. I know without a shadow of a doubt I had entered his gates and this moment was for thanksgiving ONLY! God knows me very well. He no doubt realizes my want list, and more importantly, commands my need list. Honestly, it was the first time in my life I think I really understood Psalm 100:4, "Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name." I am so grateful for this moment and a chance to worship Him with truly thankfulness in my heart!
In conclusion, we are literally weeks away from completing the adoption process. Some fears have been overcome, while others may remain forever. No matter what, God has not shown us we should not stop, so we press on.
Friday, May 18, 2012
I HATE MY FAMILY!
Ok, so the title of this post is a bit harsh and totally untrue. However, this is exactly what Jesus tells us in Luke 14:26 “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple." Harley and I have been working on following Jesus' example so closely that our lives look transformed. Well, yesterday, that happened. Our agency emailed and then called with the most exciting request: wondering if we could provide respite to a foster family. It is a baby girl and it would be for 10 days! The most unfortunate part was the dates: falling right-smack-dab-in-the-middle of my beautiful niece's recital. Here was my most impossible choice: say no, to the very calling I think God, Himself has put on us OR disappoint my precious niece. Those options sent me in to a mini-panic attack! Now, you might be thinking, big deal, it's a recital, for a child. BUT, you would be wrong! I have never missed one. I was not only at the very first one, but I was am the make-up team. Even since moving away from them, I still make the trek every spring! She's my girl! My only girl! In a house full of men, it is my reminder that I am a girl who likes girly things, like ballet!
I will never forget the pride and joy I felt in my heart watching her skip across the stage!
The thought of disappointing her and her mom(my sister) is almost too much to bear. 1. because I love them and enjoy going. 2. because I am a people-pleaser and don't want anyone unhappy with me and my decisions. --this point make me miserable ALOT!(stomach aches, stress, crying, etc., but I am being molded to GET OVER IT!) And then there is number 3. I am a perfectionist. I can do everything and I have NEVER missed a single one(perfect track record)! In my mind, I can work it all out. I can serve my God and my people! In this case, I can't. Nothing can be equal to God. Nothing is equal to God.
Y'all, I know this verse seems to be in contradiction of everything Jesus. He is telling us to hate and hate those closest to us, while everywhere else in The Book he is telling us to love; love our enemies and those who hurt us. Hmmm, strange. To be clear, I don't think Jesus wants us to hate our family. I think he expects us to love them well. The point I believe he is trying to make is that NOTHING, not even something as important as our family should keep us from answering his call with a yes or hold us back from being the appointed ambassadors of his life-giving message!
This is how we roll!
The thought of disappointing her and her mom(my sister) is almost too much to bear. 1. because I love them and enjoy going. 2. because I am a people-pleaser and don't want anyone unhappy with me and my decisions. --this point make me miserable ALOT!(stomach aches, stress, crying, etc., but I am being molded to GET OVER IT!) And then there is number 3. I am a perfectionist. I can do everything and I have NEVER missed a single one(perfect track record)! In my mind, I can work it all out. I can serve my God and my people! In this case, I can't. Nothing can be equal to God. Nothing is equal to God.
Y'all, I know this verse seems to be in contradiction of everything Jesus. He is telling us to hate and hate those closest to us, while everywhere else in The Book he is telling us to love; love our enemies and those who hurt us. Hmmm, strange. To be clear, I don't think Jesus wants us to hate our family. I think he expects us to love them well. The point I believe he is trying to make is that NOTHING, not even something as important as our family should keep us from answering his call with a yes or hold us back from being the appointed ambassadors of his life-giving message!
This is from last year :)
So, with that thought my darling niece will have her dance recital without me this year. I know she is exactly where God wants her to be. She is growing in her talents, that one day she will use to bring more fame to the name of Jesus. And I will be growing in my talents as a mom, to prepare our home for loving the fatherless!
This is how we roll!
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