I HATE MY FAMILY!

Ok, so the title of this post is a bit harsh and totally untrue.  However, this is exactly what Jesus tells us in Luke 14:26 “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple."  Harley and I have been working on following Jesus' example so closely that our lives look transformed.  Well, yesterday, that happened.  Our agency emailed and then called with the most exciting request: wondering if we could provide respite to a foster family.  It is a baby girl and it would be for 10 days!  The most unfortunate part was the dates: falling right-smack-dab-in-the-middle of my beautiful niece's recital.  Here was my most impossible choice: say no, to the very calling I think God, Himself has put on us OR disappoint my precious niece.  Those options sent me in to a mini-panic attack!  Now, you might be thinking, big deal, it's a recital, for a child.  BUT, you would be wrong!  I have never missed one.  I was not only at the very first one, but I was am the make-up team.  Even since moving away from them, I still make the trek every spring!  She's my girl! My only girl! In a house full of men, it is my reminder that I am a girl who likes girly things, like ballet!

                   I will never forget the pride and joy I felt in my heart watching her skip across the stage! 

The thought of disappointing her and her mom(my sister) is almost too much to bear.  1. because I love them and enjoy going. 2. because I am a people-pleaser and don't want anyone unhappy with me and my decisions. --this point make me miserable ALOT!(stomach aches, stress, crying, etc., but I am being molded to GET OVER IT!)  And then there is number 3.  I am a perfectionist.  I can do everything and I have NEVER missed a single one(perfect track record)!  In my mind, I can work it all out.  I can serve my God and my people!  In this case, I can't.  Nothing can be equal to God.  Nothing is equal to God. 

Y'all, I know this verse seems to be in contradiction of everything Jesus.  He is telling us to hate and hate those closest to us, while everywhere else in The Book he is telling us to love; love our enemies and those who hurt us.  Hmmm, strange.  To be clear, I don't think Jesus wants us to hate our family.  I think he expects us to love them well. The point I believe he is trying to make is that NOTHING, not even something as important as our family should keep us from answering his call with a yes or hold us back from being the appointed ambassadors of his life-giving message!

This is from last year :)

So, with that thought my darling niece will have her dance recital without me this year.  I know she is exactly where God wants her to be.  She is growing in her talents, that one day she will use to bring more fame to the name of Jesus.  And I will be growing in my talents as a mom, to prepare our home for loving the fatherless! 

                                   This is how we roll!